I needed to change myself and all around me!

After the war, it was too hard to live and to continue. I had the feeling of permanent pain, which continues today. I lost the sense of my life. His absence was like a gaping wound in my heart that would never heal. The light of my eyes had gone out the day when I finally understood that he would not come back again.

I was with my three children in a big “empty” house without him. My children were lost, too, and instead of leading them, I was desperate for the future.

How do you continue? How do I live further, and especially why?

These were my questions, which were constantly spinning in my head.

Several attempts to change something in my mindset for positive thinking with the help of a psychologist were in vain, and although I was with my children, I was in loneliness and devastation.

The first small spark of light that entered my life was the marriage of my eldest son, and I was happy for him and my daughter-in-law.

Another joyful event, the birth of my first grandchild, was a message for me that I also needed to find my way and play the role of mother for all my children.

I mustered my force and energy and resumed my work as a social worker in our municipality as though my own sufferings weren’t enough. But the happiest circumstance at work shook me up.

I stumbled across an announcement that the Armenian Fund for Sustainable Development was supporting women whose husbands were killed or disabled during the 2020 war.

I filled in their application form and sent a confirmation that I wanted to participate in the capacity-building training devoted to entrepreneurial skills.

When I received the templates for business creation, I must confess that at the moment I sent my application, I told myself, ‘If my passion for sewing is funded, it will not only be a distraction from my grief but also a new start.

After a strict selection and when my application was approved, charity’s in-kind contribution helped me to launch my activity.

My life changed irreversibly. I practice a lot in the evening to excel in my skills. My daughter-in-law, who is talented in fashion design, promised to help create new trendy dresses.

Sewing brought a sense of peace I hadn’t felt since my husband’s death. It demanded my total concentration, calming my anxious mind. After training offered by the AF4SD, I saw this craft as something I could not only do but do well.

I was surprised to feel a small glimmer of pride and satisfaction. I began to make plans for the future. As soon as orders grow enough, I will take my next big step – opening my seamstress shop with a proper storefront in our village.

I understood how the simple act of creating beautiful things with my own two hands could motivate me to continue to live.

I am proud of my daughters, who did everything to support me. I want my example to encourage other women walking this challenging road not to ignore or bury their passions but rather transform them into a life-changing experience full of hope for the future.

The “Vulnerable Women Empowerment in Armenia” project is co-funded by the Saint Sarkis Charity Trust and Association Arménienne d’Aide Sociale and implemented by the Armenian Fund for Sustainable Development.